Day Fifty-Three: Character Study

In The Toys Take Over Christmas, I'm the Cowgirl. The whole time we've been in rehearsal, I've just thought of myself as the Cowgirl, no name, just feeling out situations as I went. I knew the basics of my character, that I was upbeat and very excited about new things (ie. Sunny), but I hadn't spent enough time in my own skin. Tonight after rehearsal, I sat down and did a character study. My name is Jessie C. Buckley (the C. stands for Catherine) and I'm three years old and I have a horse named Midnight. I figured out my favorite color, food and pass time. I also thought seriously about my relation to each character. This has helped me figure out the finer details in my reactions to people.  Why do I react the way I do to Colette? What makes me believe the Toy Maker so fully-heartedly at first? Why do I want to be sold so badly? I feel like now, after my reflection, I can truly be Jessie C. Buckley, the Cowgirl.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Fifty-Two: Proof

Tonight I saw Proof at St. Michael's College. It is a play about two daughters who lost their father. He was a mathematical genius, and one of his protégés, when looking through his journals of work, came across a new proof. The story unfolds as they try to explain the proof, and figure out who solved it. I wasn't sure what to expect of the show; after all, it is a show about math, but I really liked it. The acting was good; the actors clearly knew their characters, and their backgrounds. The writing also was well done, putting focus of relationships, going back to memories, instead of focusing just on the math and the problem (quite literally) at hand. It was a surprisingly good show, but one I probably won't see again, at least not any time soon. I'm glad I went to see it, and I got back in time to still go to some of rehearsal!
-Libby Morehouse

Day Fifty-One: A Break

I've been so busy lately, and not getting back to my dorm until late at night. Most of the time after swimming or rehearsal, all I want to do is fall right into bed. I don't think I can keep writing every night. It has become almost like a chore at times. I will continue to write, and often, but not every day/night. I love having this outlet, but I do need to just write when I'm inspired, not as a requirement.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Fifty: Stress

Lately things have been stressful. I've been trying to juggle classwork, working, rehearsal and swim. I've never been that great at juggling and it feels like I keep dropping the balls.  I'm trying so hard; I love everything I'm doing, I just don't have as much time as I wish I did. I'm starting to get stressed. To deal with that, I've been working out. When I'm running I can clear my head and stop worrying about everything I have to do. The endorphins rush through my body and it's all peaceful. Today to de-stress, I also did yoga. It was relaxing yoga; I could just focus on my breathing and center myself for the week. I stopped worrying about getting up early to open tomorrow, I stopped stressing about losing my phone this weekend, and I stopped overthinking my quiz tomorrow. My brain was cleared, which is a great way to start a new week.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Forty-Nine: Sorry

I have no excuse. I should have blogged last night. I guess it completely slipped my mind. There was no reason for me not to write.  I let myself down by not writing, but also, I didn't clear my head before bed. I went to bed worrying. I still haven't found my phone, so I've been worrying all day. I hope it will turn up soon. I don't want to have to pay to replace it, but I will if I have to. My phone was my only alarm, so I'm not sure how I'll be getting up on time for classes this week.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Forty-Eight: Cold Friday

Today I got caught outside in the snow in my Birks. I had left my room to talk to someone in my building before class in those shoes, and I didn't have time before geography to put real shoes on. I thought I'd be okay; it was only raining a little. By the time class got out, however, the temperature had dropped. On my way to French it started to snow. I was outside, in a sweatshirt and Birkenstocks. In that moments, I was so happy to be a Vermonter, because I was used to the cold. Finally I got to my class, and I knew that it would be a short walk from class to my dorm.
In the evening, I had rehearsal over on Trinity campus.  I wore boots there, but it was still a long walk. The wind was biting at me with every step. I made it there in one piece, and rehearsal went well. Unfortunately, I seemed to have left my phone there. I didn't realize this until I got back to my suite. I still can't find my phone anywhere, and my only thought is that I accidentally put it down somewhere during a break. Thankfully we have rehearsal there tomorrow. Hopefully I'll find my phone then.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Forty-Seven: Our Town

I know it's technically Friday, but I still haven't gone to bed, so I"m counting this as still Thursday. Tonight was the opening for "Our Town" at the Royall Tyler Theatre at UVM.  As part of the cast of Toys Take Over Christmas, I ushered for the show tonight, so I got to see it for free. Our Town isn't the typical type of show I'd choose to see, but I really enjoyed it. It was so well done, and the actors are just amazing.  The emotion they portrayed was so real; they believed the story they were telling, and they became the characters.  Throughout the show, many actions were pantomimed, letting the audience use their imaginations, seeing the glass milk bottles being put on the table.
It is a tradition after opening night of each show to go to Vermont Pub and Brewery (VPB) as a theatre department and celebrate. Everyone goes, people who were in the show or worked on it, anyone currently in other shows or in shows that season, majors, minors and even the professors. It's a great time to get to know the department and the people you'll be working with in the future. It's so laid back and a lot of fun. It was a nice way, as a first year, to get to know the department outside of working in a production. We didn't leave VPB until after midnight, which meant a lot of talking and a lot of laughs with new friends. This also means I will be very tired if I don't go to bed now.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Forty-Six: An Ordinary Day

Nothing really happened today.  It was a typical Wednesday, which involved the same geography and french classes, although my theatre class in the afternoon was cancelled. That allowed me to go to the photo lab and develop my first role of film for the portrait project.  From the looks of the negative, the pictures came out well. I'm very excited about that, and I can't wait for tomorrow to start working on printing them in class. I think it will be interesting to work with these photos, because it's the first project in this class where I've had a person in the picture. I wonder how that will (or if it will) change my approach to or thought process of the printing.  Today I also went to the gym with a friend to get some cardio in before rehearsal.  Sadly, our director got sick in the middle of rehearsal, so that was cut short, but that just means I can go to swim practice (just after I finish my french homework).
-Libby Morehouse

Day Forty-Five: Dance

For rehearsal tonight, we were in the racquetball courts. We had no other place on campus to rehearse.  It's a strange place for a play rehearsal, but it ended up working out.  In The Toys Take Over Christmas, there is a dance number. Today, we learned the choreography to 90% of it. It was a long three hours of dancing in a small, hot room, but it was fun. We got to do some fun partner dancing, as well as some individual moves with fast footwork. I always forget how much I love dancing. I'm not the best, but when I'm learning a dance for a show, I always have so much fun. Theatre is so expressive, and I love how dancing works perfectly as another form of expressing your character. Tonight was a struggle, but it was a fun struggle.

-Libby Morehouse

Day Forty-Four: Dinner

Too often when I get hungry I just go to the dining halls. I don't ask people to go with me; I don't wait for a large group to form; I just go. Most of the time I find people to sit with, but sometimes I don't. I've gotten okay with the fact that some meals will just be eaten alone. However, as I have started to meet people, I find more and more people to sit with. Sometimes though, I like going with a group, even if I only know a few people there at the beginning of the meal.
Tonight was one of those nights. I trekked over to Red Stone to eat at Simpson. It was a nice change of pace, and it was great to see people I haven't seen in weeks, even if I did get there when they were almost done. The thing about being in a group, is that people will stay around until you finish.  One of my friends had to go, but I had just met five awesome new people, so it was okay.  After a fun, but long, weekend, it was really nice to sit down at a table and just laugh about how soft the carpets are and tell awkward stories from years past.  That meal, as simple as it was, was exactly what I needed to start this busy week.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Forty-Three: Body Image

Working in a gym, I see all types of people working out. I see the self-declared gym rats lifting with their "bros" and I see people stepping into the gym for the first time, and people everywhere else on the spectrum.  As someone who enjoys her time at the gym, likes working out and staying in shape, seeing everyone who comes in is motivating.  When I'm tired or feeling lazy, I think about the person I saw at work, who was recovering from a serious injury, and it reminds me that I can do my workout too, no matter what's mentally crippling me.  I also like to watch what people do.  Going to the gym is fairly new to me, so I still haven't found the perfect routine for myself, especially with my upper body. I like to take a look around and see what others are doing; I make a mental note to try it later, and see if it's something I want to add into my routine.
At the gym, no matter where people are in the fitness journey, people have the same underlying goal: they want to get in (or stay in) shape.  For me personally, working out in any form isn't about how slim I'll look after so many miles or so many reps, it's about how good I will feel.  For me, working out is a stress reliever and a way to declutter my brain.  I like feeling in shape, knowing that today, because of the work I put in, I'm stronger than I was a week ago. I also like to prove people wrong, including myself. A few years back I never would have guessed I'd be working at a gym, much less loving going there to work out, and do more than just cardio.  I also like to prove others wrong, in a light-hearted way.  It gives me satisfaction to go over to the weights and lift or know how to use certain exercise machines, because I hear way too often that girls can't lift.  So yes, I work out, but I do it for myself. And the positive body image I get from working out doesn't come from how I look in the mirror, but looking back on what I accomplished and feeling good about what my body allows me to do.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Forty-Two: November

With the changing of the season comes the changing of weather.  Today was a cold, gloomy day. If it wasn't rainy, the sky was threatening to open back up again in a matter of seconds.  The rain never came down hard today; it always was a fine mist. It was cold, however. Not cold for Vermont or even for November, but cold like it gets in the final two months of the year. I'm used to it and frankly I like it, I just wasn't as prepared as I should have been. When I went to work I wore a t-shirt with a sweater over it. On my walk home the wind cut through the knit holes, chilling my arms. I just need to remember that it's now November, and that means I need to grab a jacket.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Forty-One: Halloween

Happy Halloween! Today as I walked through the Fireplace Lounge in L/L I was surrounded by a mob of cuteness. Local kids parade through the building every year. They were dressed up in every costume conceivable; there were fairies and Disney princesses and SWAT team members and pirates. The look on every kids' face was pure excitement. They got to show off their awesome costume to so many people! I wish I could go back to the days when finding a costume was easy; you just asked your mom to help you and they would drive you to the closest store. I had a hard time coming up with a costume today, but I needed something. I have rehearsal tonight, so we're all going dressed up. As per a friend's suggestion, I am dressing up nicely and pinning "I'm sorry." onto my dress to be "a formal apology". I think the witty costumes are always fun.
Another exciting thing happened today. I talked to my theatre professor, and I officially declared a second minor in theatre! I'm really excited. I've always loved theatre, but I never thought it would be something I could study; I never thought that I was "good" enough. When I looked at the requirements for the minor, it seemed easy to accomplish, only 6 classes, all of which I can't wait to take. I'm going to try to take Fundamentals of Costuming this Spring semester, because then I'll be able to help with costuming for Much Ado About Nothing. I think this is a great way to stay involved with the theatre, even if I'm not acting in a show.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Forty: Busy Bee

Lately I've had so much going on. At times it's been hard to take a second to just sit and clear my head. Even now as I write this, the blog intended to clear my head at the end of the day and sort out my thoughts, I'm thinking of a million other things, including my geography exam that I have tomorrow. I still need to study more for that, but I think sleep needs to win right now. Sleep has been one thing which is beginning to fall to the wayside. Between rehearsal for Toys Take Over Christmas, swim practice, working and school work, I've been staying up later and later.
I've been trying to make better use of my time. I'll bring multiple things to the library so I can study, undisturbed, for a prolonged period of time. This has really helped me. I find when I'm around other people studying, I'm less likely to get distracted. The nice thing about the library is that there is the Cyber Cafe, so if I'm hungry or need a jolt of caffeine, all I have to do is walk downstairs. For the past few days I've been using that as my study break. I feel like I've been living in the library, but at least I'm getting work done. Instead of spending more time writing this, I'm going to go review some notes for geography.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Thirty-Nine: Trust

One of the most important things to me is trust. Today I was in the library studying for an upcoming exam. I had my laptop and everything with me, but I was getting hungry. I wanted to go downstairs to the Cyber Cafe and grab a bite to eat. I couldn't leave me laptop sitting out. I wanted to trust that someone wouldn't just walk by and steal it, but you never know. Instead, I looked around and found a nice looking girl to watch it for me. She gladly let me set it down while I went downstairs. This could have gone wrong in so many ways, but thankfully it was still sitting there, undisturbed when I returned.
I asked that girl specific girl to watch it for me simply because she was sitting closest to me, but this got me thinking. I could have just as easily asked the guy sitting one more step away to watch it for me. Did I subconsciously ask a white, kind-looking female to watch my computer because I thought she looked safer and more trustworthy? Has society so engrained in our minds whom to trust and whom not to trust based solely on how they look? Did I allow society's stereotypes involving gender and race to determine with whom I would entrust me laptop? Stereotypes like these are planted in our  minds, mostly for safety. When we're in a potentially dangerous situation we try to find what's different, or wrong, so we can stay safe. However, all too often, those snap judgements and stereotypes translate into aspects of our lives where we are perfectly safe, and therefore have no need to assume the worst.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Thirty-Eight: Simple Joys

As we get closer and closer to Thanksgiving break, everything seems to pile on. It's not even Halloween just yet and the professors are worried about getting everything in before we go home for a week. On top of class work, a lot of sports have events; I just had my first swim meet and others are going to important races and games. For me, also, rehearsal has started. It can be a lot to juggle at once. Things can get stressful, so I need to make sure that I'm finding the simple joys in things. Today I went to the library to work on my French skit with my partner. We found the joy in the skit by making her roommate a cat, instead of the expected human. In class, I try to find at least one thing in the lesson I really enjoy and can hang on to in order to get through the rest of the class.  Rehearsal does provide a much needed break. Instead of stressing about all of the things I have to do, I can become my character and enjoy thinking about how much fun the children will have when we perform.  Everyone is happy and laughing and enjoying every moment of rehearsal, despite how hot the rehearsal space can get.  These little joys and laughter help get me through the day and refocus me in my studying.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Thirty-Seven: Tea

This morning I woke up and I wasn't feeling great. After a very small breakfast I drank some tea (as per Alice's suggestion). The chai green tea really helped me feel better. I always find tea to be therapeutic.  If I'm tired, cold, sick, or grumpy, I find tea can always fix things.  I think part of it is the tea itself, the flavors and the smells, along with the antioxidants and nutrition, but part of it is definitely the soothing effect of drinking a hot liquid. It just warms you from the inside out, and it always brings a smile to my face.
This afternoon I went to a guest lecture about tea. The woman giving the lecture was a professor at UC Santa Barbara. She talked about tea marketing in the 1930s and 1940s, and how it worked to remove the idea of imperialism, and focus on how tea revitalizes you. I found it very interesting. Big tea companies tried their hands at market researching, and using different advertising approaches in different parts of the world. In the US, they focused on iced tea, because it seemed more manly, and less British.  I never realized how much culture had an impact on tea, both the consumption and the marketing of it. One item really symbolized the change from a world of empires, to a world of self-governing, and developing, countries. So cheers!
-Libby Morehouse

Day Thirty-Six: Respect

I feel as if my personal space has been violated. Over the past few weeks someone I live with has been eating some of my food, even after I asked them politely not to. It's been getting on my nerves, but I couldn't stop them. This weekend, I went away for a swim meet. I was hoping I could trust this person not to take advantage of the fact that I was gone for the weekend, and just to leave my stuff alone. Unfortunately, that was not the case. I came back today to find my almonds almost completely gone, half of the protein bars my mom bought me done, and my orange juice had been drunk. I can't believe that someone would be so rude as to do that. They had no respect for my personal space and belongings and they have lost all of my trust and respect. If you can't just leave other people's things alone, especially when they aren't there to defend their space, then you aren't a good, trustworthy person at heart. I'm sorry about the rant, but I'm furious at this unacceptable behavior.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Twenty-Five: Rutgers

Today we had a swim meet at Rutgers. It was my first swim meet ever. I was nervous, but excited. I wasn't quite sure what to expect at first, but it quickly turned into a fun day. I only swam 50s, but some of them were mixed into relays. I didn't realize before just how hard swim races were, but now I have so much more respect for good swimmers. After going to the doctor's yesterday, my breathing was a lot better. I didn't have any issues while I swam, so I was able to do the best I could and just focus on swimming, not on my breathing issues.

There was a long van ride down to New Jersey yesterday. We stayed the night in a hotel before heading to Rutgers. Now we are at our VP's house in NJ. We did some team bonding, including a long game of Twister. Tomorrow we have another long ride ahead of us to get back, so I'm going to go to bed.

-Libby Morehouse

Day Thirty-Four: Relief

Today has been quite the busy day, and it's only 4 pm. I started my day by going to the Center for Health and Wellbeing. Lately my chest has been tight when I've been swimming, so I got that checked out. The doctor thinks that I'm allergic to the chlorine, which causes my bronchial tubes to become constricted. So, she gave me an inhaler with a bronchial dilator and allergy medicine. Hopefully that will do the trick and I'll be breathing properly at the Rutgers meet tomorrow. After that I had class, which was a pretty normal day in French.
This afternoon my dad took me to lunch at New World Tortilla. I had never been there before, and the food is really good. The wrap I got was huge; I couldn't even finish it, but it was delicious. Since my dad is working in Burlington, we are trying to go to lunch every other week. It's been nice so far. After that he showed me his new office at VEIC. The building is awesome. There are bright colors and things are open, which makes the office space seem cheerful and alive.
For the past hour I've been packing and relaxing. At 4:30 the swim club will leave to go down to New Jersey. We're going to stay in a hotel tonight before going to the Rutgers meet. I'm so excited! This will be my first swim meet, so I'm slightly nervous, but I'm really looking forward to it. It will be one more thing I'll be able to say I've done.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Thirty-Three: "Fine"

At the beginning of my senior year I saw a TedX talk given by a teenage boy. He was the captain of his varsity team, he was popular; he seemed to have everything going for him. What people didn't realize was that he was depressed. He went on to talk about how many people who suffer from depression don't show it outwardly; they have a persona they put on at school or in groups to deal with society. They also do have their good days amidst their depression. This got me thinking about our culture, and we tend to shy away from emotional interactions. This prompted me to write this poem, which I have only ever shared with a few people.

The Fine Line
Why do we ignore the most important question?
When someone walk by and asks how we are we say fine.
One work.
Do they ask because they care or is it just the social norm?
Well, what if I'm not fine?
Society doesn't want to hear about what's wrong.
We don't care if you're less that "fine".
That's weakness; we're told to hold it in.
Why?
Why do we say that those who are less than "fine" are weak?
Why do we prey on the hurt? Tear them down and
Make them feel alone?
They're not weak. Our society is.
We are too weak to lift up those who stand alone.
Too weak to put out a hand and help them from their bed. We're too weak to show we care.
When someone breaks a bone we all run to help, but
When someone feels broken inside we run the other way.
Why?
Why do we leave these people to suffer alone?
Are we too afraid to show the imperfections in ourselves?
Well WAKE UP!
We're all human. We're not perfect,
No matter how many times we say we're fine.
Who are we trying to kid when we say those two words
"I'm fine."?
Society? Well society's got us all fooled if we
Think those two words cover the entire range of human emotions.
Turn on a light. Become enlightened.
Just because you see her smiling in the halls
Doesn't mean she's not holding pain inside.
Just because he's captain of the sports team
Doesn't mean he might not want to be around anymore.
These people aren't fighting a disease, like chicken pox.
It doesn't just go away.

-Libby Morehouse

Day Thirty-Two: Toys

Tonight we had our first rehearsal for Toys Take Over Christmas, UVM's annual Christmas show. We did a read through and basic introductions. The cast seems like it will be a fun group of people to work with over the next month and a half. The play is obviously geared towards little children, who still believe in the magic of Christmas and Santa Claus, and that's part of what will make this so fun. Everything is so over the top in a way you can only do for children. I'm excited to really get in to rehearsals, and of course to perform for kids, because they are such a captivating audience.
The entire cast, including our director, SM, and ASM, seem like they will be a lot of fun together. We only had a few short hours together, but I can already sense some bonding, and that we'll be a tight-knit cast. I missed my high school theatre people, so I'm excited to be working on a show again. When I first came to UVM, I didn't think I was going to act. It was something I wanted to do, but I never thought I would be good enough to get a part, going up against all of the theatre majors and minors. I love how Toys is set up; it a great, non-intimidating way to get your feet wet with the Royall Tyler Theatre. I'm excited to become a Toy!
-Libby Morehouse

Day Thirty-One: Rainy Days

Today started out as a cold, rainy October day. Lately the weather has not been very wonderful, with cold days mixed with rain and wind. Lots of wind. Early in the morning I had to work a shift at work, in the ice rink. I was already cold going in, so I knew it would be a long shift. I sat there, freezing on the cold metal chair, only to realize (about 45 minutes into my shift) that the space heater never turned on. After fussing with it for a second, the heater turned on and things got better. As I started to warm up during the day, my day improved. In photo we were working on printing some pictures form our window project. My photos actually turned out well, and seeing the final product really made me happy. As the cold day draws to an end, I am very tired. I have to get up early to work an opening shift at work, so, tired from a good swim practice, I will hit the hay a little early.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Thirty: A Reflection

It's been a month now since I started this blog. I can't believe it's already been that long with only one minor hiccup.  It's been hard at times to write. Some days I have nothing to say, others my fingers can't keep up with my brain, but I think that's what's interesting. When I sit down to blog, I think about what has happened in the day. Some days huge events come to mind. Other days are normal, mundane.  This is what I think makes blogging interesting. Each day I need to find something interesting to do so that I have something to write about. It's making me break from habits and get out and try things. This is a fun way of pushing me to have the best college experience I can have. It can be hard at times, but I like the motivation and I like unwinding at the end of my day by writing. It really can be therapeutic.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Twenty-Nine: Gym Culture

Since I've been at school, I've been working in the gym. For the most part, the women use the cardio machines and do lighter lifting or bodyweight exercises, and the men do more heavy lifting. Now, there are exceptions to every rule. Some guys use the treadmills and some women do lift with heavy weights, but that isn't the norm. When a guy uses a cardio machine (typically besides the treadmill or the bike) people say he won't get as big, that he's going to have a girl's physique. If a woman lifts with heavier weights people tell her that she'll get too ripped and look like a guy. I don't understand why people do this. Everyone has their own preferences when it comes to their body and their workouts. And, with varying levels of hormones between a woman's and a man's bodies, the same workouts will effect their builds differently.  I think people need to change gym culture, to allow women to do heavy lifting if they want, and men to use cardio machines if that's what they prefer. We need to create an atmosphere where women feel welcome to do whatever workout they want, be it cardio, light lifting, or heavy lifting with the guys.  So much in our culture has been okay for either gender to do, and I think a simple gym workout should be one.
That being said, I have been going to the gym a lot more recently. Before, I wasn't always sure what I should do to get a good workout with weights, and I'm still not completely sure with certain elements, but by going to the gym I've become more familiar with the weights and my body.  As I work, I glance around and see what other people are doing, getting inspiration and knowledge from them. I admit I'm not the strongest or most knowledgeable, but at least I try. I feel lucky to have found a space where people are more welcoming. Most of the time at the UVM gym women feel comfortable to do the workouts they choose, and even get help from others. As I get stronger, I feel better about myself. At first I was ashamed of how few reps I could do, or how light of a weight I was using, but as I've gotten stronger, I've gained more confidence in the gym while I work out. I feel strong mentally and physically, and like I belong there with the guys, and girls, in the gym. It really makes me feel accomplished because I couldn't say this a few months back.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Twenty-Eight: The Ballet

Tonight I went to see the Aspen Santa Fe Ballet at the Flynn. I saw this as part of my theatre TAP class I'm in. It wasn't a traditional ballet; it was more contemporary. The performance was only made up of a few performers. They incorporated moves that weren't traditional ballet dance moves. It was jarring, but helped tell the story. The dancers weren't always doing the same thing, which created a cool effect. They reacted to each other, creating a chain of movement among the dancers, which was very fluid.
The dancers were very uniform. The women were the same height and build as each other; they all had brown hair put up the same way. Similarly, the men were the same height and build. One thing, however, that surprised me was the one of the men was bald. The other two had brown hair, styled in the same way. Based on how uniform everything else was, I would have assumed he would have had hair as well. Then, in the second act, a black dancer came out. He hadn't been part of the first act, which I found odd. I wonder if they used him, the fact that he wasn't uniform like everyone else, as a statement to add meaning to the specific piece. Regardless of their reasoning, the show was really good. I never see dance performance, and even more rarely do I see ballets, so I'm really glad I got the opportunity.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Twenty-Seven: Gilmore Girls

I don't understand why there has to be pressure to go out and party every weekend. I find it nice to just relax with a nice group of people some weekends. I guess I've never been the kind of person to be able to go out every weekend. I like my downtime and I don't see anything wrong with that. Some nights, after a long week, I just want to watch Netflix. In fact, that's what I'll be doing after I finish writing. I will sit down and watch some Gilmore Girls, seeing as it is finally on Netflix! I don't have anything against partying, or those who do party every weekend. I just have never been the kind of person to have the desire to do that. I also don't see why it is viewed as necessary to always go out and be crazy. Maybe I'm just weird.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Twenty-Six: A Cappella

All evening I've been listening to a cappella. This just makes me wish I could be singing in a group on campus. I'm not sure if I would have made it if I had auditioned, but I sort of wish I had, just to know. The groups always seem to have so much fun. There's a lot of camaraderie in the groups, so and you meet so many people of other ages. The groups on campus also sing fun, contemporary songs, not just traditional a cappella songs. The concerts on campus are so fun and energizing. I also just love music and theatre people in general. Most of them are so easy-going and fun people; they're great to be with and you never know when you'll all break out in song. That's one thing I really miss about my high school's musicals. I want to be surrounded by people who will break out in song with me at the drop of the hat. Maybe I'll audition next year.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Twenty-Five: Warm Weather

Today Vermont decided to be weird, like usual. It was actually warm out in mid October. This fall, the weather has been weird. First it was cold when it should have been warm, then it got a little warm, giving us all a false hope. Then it got cold again only to be nice and warm today. Through this whole thing, being right on the lake, it has been windy. That makes wearing dresses very hard; I try not to flash people, so I usually have to walk around holding my skirt down. Nonetheless, I still choose to wear dresses and skirts because they're more comfortable. I wonder what the weather will be for the rest of the week.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Twenty-Four: Auditions and Panic

No matter how many auditions I go through, I will always be nervous for an audition. I think it's physically impossible for me not to be nervous.  My stomach starts doing backflips and I get jittery. I was even nervous last year for district auditions even though I knew I would make it. Auditions are just scary. You've rehearsed something for so long, and suddenly you have to show someone your hard work, and get judged by how you did, how many hours you put in to your practice, how many pencil marks you made all over the page.
Today I auditioned for Toys Take Over Christmas, the annual holiday show that UVM puts on. It's scary to audition at a college level. I feel like everyone is so much better than I am. But that's what I like about this show; the only people who can be in this show are the people who have never performed on UVM's stage before. That made me feel better; I wasn't going up against seasoned vets of RTT.
After my audition I had swim practice, nothing that unusual. Today our workout involved a lot of longer distances, so I was excited about that. Halfway through one of my 300 yard swims, my chest and throat started to tighten up. I'm not sure why this happened, but when you're in a pool, it's terrifying when it gets hard to breath. I managed to make it back to the wall before I had a panic attack. It was scary. I had never had a panic attack in water before, and this was my first one at school. I was out of my element, quite literally. I didn't have any of my normal comforts around, or any of the people I normally talk to to help calm me down. I was scared. Eventually I regained my breath and my chest opened. I'm not sure why it happened, but I hope it doesn't happen again next time I swim.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Twenty-Three: Comfort

When you're thrown into a new environment, you don't have the normal comforts you're used to. Being at college, living with people who were perfect strangers before we moved in, definitely can put you out of your comfort zone. I know it did for me. While I've been here, I've been finding other comforts, or finding ways of bringing some of my comforts from home here. For instance, I really liked being on a team, so I joined swim club. Having that as part of my schedule has become more than just a time to exercise and be with a group of people, it has become comforting and helps me get through the day.
One comfort from home I've missed has been my pets. This summer we had to put our dog down, so I've been missing her for some time now. I also really miss my cats. All my life I have been a cat person; I have so much love for every cat I see, and I think they are easier to get along with than most humans. I didn't realize how much I'd miss petting them everyday, or having Fred, as annoying as it could be, pawing through my hair when I sit down. I have always had pets around, so it's very strange to not have pets here at school. Today, however, I was able to meet one of my suite mate's dogs. He is this little, fluffy pomeranian. It was so comforting to be able to pet an animal again. It brought to light just how much I miss the feel of petting an animal. I wish that I could have a comfort dog or cat around.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Twenty-Two: Nothing

I'm not sure why, but I have nothing on my mind. Today, I guess, will just be a day of free writing. No topic, just random thoughts... This should get interesting.  Maybe I can't think of things because it's been a long week. I have had so much going on. It feels like forever since last weekend, and it seems like this weekend flew by to quickly. I wish that UVM had a fall break. I could really use more than two days to just relax and recover from what's been a crazy half to the semester. I'm having a lot of fun, but I'm also staying really busy. I work, a lot, and I have a lot of reading to do for class. I am still trying to stay involved and go to different events.  All of this is adding up to a crazy schedule, but I'd rather be busy than be bored. I have always juggled a lot of things in my schedule, so I know that I can manage, but a break would be nice. I'm just thinking about how nice Thanksgiving Break will be.
I really could go for Thanksgiving right now. The parade, the stuffing, the pumpkin pie... All of that would be so nice. And the weather will be perfect. I love November weather. It can be sad some days, but others it's the perfect crisp air and it's cold enough to wear a nice coat, boots, hat, gloves and scarf outside, but at the same time you're perfectly cozy with a sweater and socks on inside (as long as you cozy up to the wood stove with a mug of hot chocolate). Fall has to be my favorite season. I also think Thanksgiving is an underrated holiday. I always love the warmth of watching the parade together and baking and cooking all day long. It's a nice time to reflect and reset your mind for the rest of the semester. I'm sitting here in October, and now I just can't wait for November to come!
-Libby Morehouse

Day Twenty-One: Parents' Weekend

This weekend is Alumni Weekend as well as Homecoming and Parents' Weekend here at good ol' Groovy UV (UVM).  Walking around campus there are many events going on, including segway campus tours, for those who are either too lazy to walk or coordinated enough to not fall off of one. My parents and I chose to walk, knowing that if I were to try to ride a segway things wouldn't end well.  Although we come up to Burlington a lot, this was different. It felt so nice to be able to show my parents around my school and get to tell them about all the amazing things their money is allowing me to do.  I realized today how cozy campus feels. That could partly have been due to the fact that the autumn wind made me bundle up a little more, but Vermont really is a cozy place, and UVM captures that environment.
As it was Homecoming and Alumni Weekend as well, there were so many great events planned.  I got to sit in on a dialogue with Tony Kushner, a playwright and screenwriter.  I felt so honored to be sitting in the same room as tony Kushner. He has given so many silenced groups voices. The dialogue went well, and he is one funny man.
This evening was the A Capella Homecoming concert.  I have a few friends who are in the various a capella groups on campus. It was really nice to be able to hear them all perform. The musical talent was just through the roof, and everything was entertaining.  I love that all four groups do modern and interesting songs; the know what the audience wants to hear. The crowd was huge and the concert was amazing!
-Libby Morehouse

Day Twenty: TGIF

I am so happy that it's Friday today. It has been such a long week. I have been working a lot, and doing a lot of school work. On Wednesday I had a French quiz, then Friday I had a French skit and a geography quiz. There was a lot to study and memorize. By the time this evening rolled around, I was ready for a break. Even today was a long day. I worked a three hour shift alone, and then went right to ushering. I'm not complaining though. I really enjoyed ushering because I got to see A Grand Night For Singing again, without paying. All I'm saying is that Friday couldn't have come sooner.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Nineteen: Swim

A few weeks ago practice for swim club started. I had never had the opportunity to be in a swim team, but I have always loved swimming. I decided I would join the club and swim; I wouldn't be the only person new to a swim team. Immediately I loved it. Swimming is hard work, but it's a lot of fun. I did sports all through high school, but swimming is different. It's more of a full body workout than I thought it would be. Now I have to actively think about my breathing. Unlike running or skiing, I can't just breath whenever I want. I really like how much I need to think while I swim, yet I still find my mind can wonder off.
As with anything, you get better with practice. Although it's only been a few weeks, I can feel myself getting stronger; I can feel myself going faster; but most importantly, I am getting better at my strokes. Thanks to the vice swim president, I can now swim butterfly. She nicely took time out of her schedule to teach me how to do this difficult stroke. It really is hard. I feel awkward doing it because your elbows, unlike when doing freestyle, aren't supposed to be bent. It also takes a lot of upper body strength, especially shoulders. It's very difficult and sometimes I still feel like I'm drowning myself, but I'm improving, and I think that's what swimming is all about for me; self improvement.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Eighteen:Barely

It's almost 11 pm. I was lying down in bed, about to drift off, when I remembered I hadn't posted a blog today. I'm not sure why I remembered. Why do random things pop into our heads? Nonetheless here I am, groggy with nothing to write about. Nothing really happened today. I guess that could be a good thing, nothing bad occurred. But it's also a bad thing, I didn't go out and make anything fun happen. So here's a blog, about nothing. I'm sorry but I can't always come up with a story to tell, but I will write regardless. I'm not even sure if I can call this a blogpost, so please accept my apology about this sorry excuse for one. I'm too tired to write.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Seventeen: Photography

One of the seminar classes I'm taking is a photography class. I really like this class. We are using film, but we didn't start the year using normal film cameras. We started out using pinhole cameras, which essentially are light-tight boxes with a pin prick hole in the front, with photo sensitive paper on the opposite wall. By starting out with these cameras, we learned the basics of processing pictures in a dark room. We learned the patience required to produce a photo, and we were introduced to the idea of exposure.
Now, however, we have graduated to using out 35mm film cameras! I am so happy. I have been waiting all semester to use them. Our first project is pretty open; we have to somehow involved windows in our pictures. For me this is really easy and fun to shoot, because I love framing the same picture differently, and what better way to do that than with the actual frame of a window?  With the film cameras, everything is manual, so we have to choose the right aperture and shutter speed and focus the camera. At first it seems like a lot to think about, but it gets easier. Things start to click and the photography gets easier.
I really enjoy shooting with film. The whole process takes time. You have to think about what you're doing. You can't just pick up your phone and see the image right away; you have to put in effort and the result is so rewarding. After the methodical, and time consuming, process in the dark room, it's so rewarding to see the final image, a print that you put so much thought and effort into. It makes my pictures have so much more meaning
Shooting with film has also made me realize how quickly we try to rush through everything in life. Nowadays we get frustrated if we have to wait five seconds for a page to load or if we just miss the green light. Shooting and processing film has made me slow down, even if it's just during those few times I'm holding the camera or the film. There is no need to rush everything. It can be nice to slow down and enjoy the time it takes to produce something meaningful, to enjoy the process of making the final product.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Sixteen: Just Another Day

Nothing big or important happened today. When I think about it, nothing really happened today except for the usual classes and working and practice. I have fallen into a big routine. Nothing broke it up today, but I guess that was good. After a long weekend it was nice to get back to the same schedule.
Over the past two weeks plus I have started to make daily blogging part of my routine. I'm enjoying it more than I thought I would. I have found it really nice to write a little bit before I go to bed. I sleep better without everything whirling around upstairs. I know I don't get everything out; I don't go on long rants, but it is nice to write something, to get out some of the clutter in my brain. It's also very peaceful. No one's telling me what to write; there are no due dates, only the schedule I have set for myself, which I'm trying hard to adhere to. There are no grades, nothing. It is me and my computer screen, fingers on keyboard, typing what comes to mind. It's meditative in a way. I can really see how writing is therapeutic for people. I think it's starting to become that way for me too. It's also helping my confidence. I feel okay now with my written voice. I want people to see what I'm saying. I no longer feel too shy to post a blog about my thoughts and opinions. This has helped me break out of a shell I didn't even know I was in. I don't know who makes up my elusive audience, but thank you for helping me break free from part of my comfort zone.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Fifteen: Mexican Food and Anastasia

Today was another lazy day. I woke up late and did homework. I had a lot of reading to catch up on, but it's done now. After that I did go swimming. I met up with someone on the swim club to do a swim workout together. She helped me with my butterfly stroke, which I'm still learning. With her help I pretty much have it down. It's all a matter of strength and endurance now, so it should get better with practice. I'm starting to feel like a real swimmer now.
Later this night my friend invited me upstairs to a suite dinner. The program housed above mine, Dead Poets Society, was having a Mexican night. They invited me up for tacos and quesadillas, and yes guacamole, lots of guacamole. It was so nice to sit down for a meal and not be in the dining halls. They get old very quickly, and I haven't had good Mexican food in so long. After dinner we were all hanging out, so we decided we had to watch a movie. After a long discussion, we finally decided to watch Anastasia, because of how historically accurate it is, and we just wanted to watch an animated movie. It was my first time ever seeing the movie, but I remember learning about the Romanovs in AP European History last year. I really liked sitting and watching an animated movie. I haven't watched one in so long.
Everything about today was so simple and relaxing. It has gotten me ready for a crazy week ahead.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Fourteen: Lazy Days

Lazy days are the best types of days. I think they are very underrated, though. As a kid I always felt I needed to be doing something, hanging out with friends or building a fort or practicing to be the next world record holder for hula-hooping. No one told me to take a break, to have a lazy day now and then. I have always been on the go, jumping around from one activity to the next, with way too much on my plate. I rarely took the time to have a me day, a lazy day.
Today, thankfully, was a lazy day. When I finally woke up I did nothing with my hair, I didn't wear makeup, and I put on yoga pants and a tie-dye shirt. Then I walked to the dining hall to eat a simple bagel with cream cheese for breakfast. It was all that I could ask for. After working so hard all week and feeling constantly busy it was so nice to take a breather and not have responsibilities.  I didn't have a schedule to adhere to or tasks I needed to complete. Better yet, I had the time to sit down and have a really nice phone conversation with my parents. That was the perfect way to end my week. I need to take more lazy days, mental health days just to remind myself that it's good to relax, and that I can pull through everything that's going on.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Thirteen (Almost): An Apology

I'm sorry. I failed myself. I forgot to blog yesterday and this is a day late. I feel bad about this. I set out to write every day. I have no excuse for not posting anything yesterday. I only had ten minutes of class, and I didn't work. I had all the time in the world and I still failed. For that I'm sorry. I should have written during the day.
Last night was a lot of fun.  I wasn't back in my dorm after dinner until very late at night. I met some new people, friends of friends. We hung out in their suites. I'm glad I got to know more people. I've needed to do that for some time now. We watched Power Rangers while drinking coffee, and then moved to another suite and talked about life. It felt so good to be able to sit down with people I had just met and have a nice conversation. I think that's what college is about.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Twelve: Second City

Tonight I saw Second City perform at the Flynn. The Flynn is a theatre in downtown Burlington. Second City, a sketch comedy and improv group from Chicago, has a touring cast. This is where the likes of Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and Steven Colbert got their starts as actors and comedians.  The show was a true pleasure to see. I was laughing from start to finish. The actors just have impeccable timing, and are just amazing at improv. Some of the sketches brought up serious subjects, like feminism, but in a way that made the audience laugh at themselves. I enjoy this kind of comedy.
The sketches were amazing. Some were short two liners, others were a few minutes long. As much as I loved the sketches, my favorite part would have to be the improv. I am always impressed when people are good at improv.  Personally, I'm not witty or funny enough to come up with a response off the top of my head, so to see these people doing it without missing a beat puts me in a state of awe.  The group engaged the audience.  They called out asking for suggestions, in a manner, which reminded me of the show "Whose Line is it Anyways?".  What they received were some weird suggestions, and what the audience got in return were some weird skits.  One that I found amusing was that, based on an audience suggestion, two of the actors had to be a mother and a baby giraffe, but they both had secrets. The baby was really a duck and the mom was adopted. The scene which unfolded was as bizarre as you could imagine.
Everything they did was entertaining. They threw a few little songs in the mix. They had a few classic jokes.  They even sat down and talked to two people in the audience (who happened to have met online and were on their second date). The show was captivating and hilarious. I would see them again and again, because, with improv, no two shows are ever the same.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Eleven: A Grand Night For Singing

It was "A Grand Night For Singing" and what a night it was indeed.  As part of the theatre class I am in, we go and see many different shows. Tonight we saw the final dress rehearsal for "A Grand Night For Singing" put on by my school. The show was fantastic. It is a series of Roger and Hammerstein songs from various shows they wrote woven into one show. The songs flowed seamlessly, as if they were written to be performed together.  You could hear hints of the different eras the shows were set in, which took me around the world and back in time, and returned me to the same seat I began the show in. Musical theatre is a great love of mine, so to be able to sit down and see a show, all of music, for free was amazing. I got goosebumps. The show made me happy and sad and made me want to laugh and dance, all which are indicators of an amazing show. The applaud the cast and crew for putting on such a wonderful show.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Ten: Autumn

Autumn is in... everything but the air. As I walk outside it feels more like a June day than the brisk Vermont fall I love. The beginning of September felt like November, and now, as we reach October, it feels like I should be starting summer vacation. The brisk air and the cool gusts of wind define autumn for me. I get surprised when I see how colorful the trees are, because they appear out of place in this weather. I guess I shouldn't be complaining about the heat. In a few months time I will be begging for the sun to stay a little longer, to heat the Earth up just a few degrees more.
Temperature complaints aside, autumn is my favorite time of year. It's (usually) not too hot and not too cold. The mountainside looks like a box of crayons (if you only use the red, orange and yellow shades), and the paths are paved with crunching leaves. Autumn is the perfect excuse to sip on pumpkin spice lattes, or my favorite, pumpkin chai lattes. The drinks, although they are stereotypical white girl drinks, taste like fall. They warm me up from the inside out and can instantly turn my day around.
Fall is also the perfect excuse to change up your look a little. I like to take the summer clothes I bought a few months back and wear them in a new way. I'll add scarves or cardigans. Maybe I'll through a sweater over a dress to only show the skirt. I don't think you need to have a separate fall wardrobe; piece together your summer and your winter staples and you'll save money and space. Fall is also the perfect time to wear flannels. If you're not from Vermont, or other areas of New England, you have been late to the flannel seen. Us Vermonters have been wearing flannels since the good ol' days for practical reason. Only recently have the mainstream clothing brands, and runway designers, caught on to the trend and the unique pattern. Flannels are warm, easy to wear and practical. They're perfect for layering on the days when the morning is cold, but you know things will heat up by mid-afternoon. Unlike most other layering pieces, flannels actually become even more "trendy" (dare I even say it) when you take them off. Take the flannel off and tie it around your waist and you look like you just walked off the runway at New York Fashion Week.
So, if you're like me and love fall, go outside and jump in the leaves; go apple picking and just enjoy sitting in the crisp air. And if you prefer to stay inside, cuddle up with a nice hot spiced beverage and enjoy the vibrant colors through a window.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Nine: Creatures of Habit

It's undeniable, we are creatures of habit. We fall into rhythms. You can blame it on our culture, the monotony of our day or work week; you can blame it on our circadian rhythm, our own bodies repeating cycle after cycle. Whatever the cause may be, we get comfortable and don't want to change. But sometimes life forces you to change.  For instance, you might move, get a new job, or go to college.
Whenever my rhythm changes I'm always thrown off. It feels uncomfortable and takes time to get used to, but, without a doubt, I fall back into another rhythm, a new one that fits my current schedule. It's subconscious. Each night I'll set my alarm to the same time, waking each morning before getting ready for the day in the exact same way, sometimes switching up which tea I drink. Then I head off to the same classes, to the same job, and sit at the same desk to do school work before repeating the next day and the next. Although, unlike in high school, my class schedule isn't the same from day to day, it is from week to week. I have certain daily habits and routines, but I also have a larger cycle in my routine, covering a week at a time.
Sometimes, though, it is nice to change things up. Be it a much needed break, walking a different route to the same classes, or sitting somewhere else to eat or in the classroom. The change is good; it makes things interesting again and provides a much needed refresher, a new outlook. As nice and comforting as having a routine is, I want to make a habit of breaking my habits from time to time.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Eight: Happiness

If you asked Charlie Brown and the rest of the Peanut gang what happiness was they could give you so many answers, heck they could sing you a song about it. But what I've discovered recently is that happiness is different for everyone, it's situational and individual. One thing that I need to keep in mind is that it is possible and okay to be sad but still be happy about certain things, and conversely to be happy but still be sad about other things. It's a natural part of life and human emotions that we need to learn to accept and deal with.
Recently I've been finding my happiness again. I never was sad or depressed, but I didn't have happiness in the forefront of my mind. I was searching for happiness, if I found it, it was a happy coincidence, but I decided to actively find happiness again. This had to come from within. I knew I had to first find happiness in myself before I could find it from other people and other places. Media has always pressured girls with images of how society thinks out bodies "should" look, and this has hurt people's, including my own, self confidence. I finally started to accept my body for what it could do, rather than put it down for what it looked like. I started going to the gym again, focusing on how good I felt and how strong I was becoming. This helped me become happy with my body. I also joined swim club. Always walking around in my bathing suit actually made me feel better about my body and increase my confidence.
After I started to become happy with how I felt about my body, I sought out other sources of happiness. I started on the small things, like the way I dressed. I stopped worrying about what others thought of my clothing. I wear dresses and skirts most days, not to dress up for anyone, but because I like them and they make me feel confident, like I can conquer anything. I did my makeup for me, because I enjoyed it, not to impress anyone walking by on my way to class. I think doing small things for yourself is the biggest thing you can do for you confidence and to increase your happiness.
I've also opened my eyes to find people with similar interests to my own. This has increasingly made me realize that UVM is the right school for me. As I was hiking (in an event put on by my school) my friends and I were talking about how hiking is amazing, and how to many, sleeping out in the cold on hard rocks to most sounds awful, but how it sounded amazing to us. I stopped caring if people were going to judge me for what I like; I am not ashamed to be interested in what I am interested in. All of this happiness has changed my outlook. It has built my confidence and made me feel empowered. I feel like I have changed myself, and now I can go out and change the world!
-Libby Morehouse

Day Seven: An Adventure

Today I went on an adventure. Today was the third annual Catamountain Classic at UVM. The goal of this is to get a lot of groups of students together. Each group goes out and hikes a predetermined section of the Long Trail, and over the course of the two days, all 273 miles of the Long Trail will be covered. This started after a UVM student and avid hiker lost his life in the spring of 2012. It is a nice way to commemorate him, and to get a large amount of people out and hiking.
The trail was beautiful. The section my group hiked was eight miles. There weren't too many steep parts, only a few short scrambles. There were so many clearings in the forest where we were able to see the most breathtaking views and the falls were turning vibrant colors. Today was the perfect weather and the perfect time of year for a hike. We made good time. It took just under four hours to complete our section of the hike, and then it was back in the van. I feel so happy and privileged that I live in a place and I go to a school that not only encourages so many people to get out and hike, but helps facilitate it too.
That was just the start of a fun day. Tonight is Fall Fest! Keys N Krates and Betty Who will be playing. It will be a nice way to unwind after a month of stressful classes. It starts soon and I'm excited. It's sure to be a great concert and a fun time.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Six: Commitment

It's day six of this daily blog and I'm just going to be honest; this is hard. I don't know where I got the notion that I could blog daily. My life isn't interesting at all. I'm just an average 18 year old having a normal time at college. I don't have an interesting back story or interesting events happening in my life. I'm just me, a girl who's slightly more socially awkward than normal, sitting on her computer instead of in the amphitheater listening to guitar house's concert.
This will be hard, but I'm up for the challenge I set myself, and it is a challenge. I've always loved writing, but I rarely take the time to write for myself. Only one other time have a written in a journal daily for any length of time, and that's when I was in Rwanda for three weeks. It was easy then. I was experiencing so much and going through a wide range of emotions every day; it was a helpful to alleviate some of that. But this is a true challenge. How do I talk about the monotony of every day life? How do I try to make it interesting? Does anyone really care or am I just writing for myself? I guess the point of this blog is just for me to write for myself. Beyond that, I'm not sure. Am I writing so I can look back one day or am I writing so I can keep looking forward? I can see how this will be therapeutic. I'm not sure how long I will keep this up. I guess one reason I chose to write every day is to get into a much needed routine as everything is so different now in college. Another reason was to push myself out of my comfort zone and provide an intellectual challenge, and I'm not one to back down from a challenge. So I will take this and honor my commitment; unless I am in some situation where I don't have access to a computer or internet, unless I find myself or someone else in a terrible situation where I need to give the situation my undivided attention, I will blog, every day. That seems like a daunting task now that it's out there, but I must follow through, for anyone who might be out there who likes hearing what happens in my mind, but mostly for myself.
So until tomorrow, I'm sorry again for the rambling and I apologize in advance for any future rambling posts.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Five: Happy Birthday Hannah!

Today is one of my suite mate's birthdays, Hannah. We have been in college for just over a month, but everyone on the floor has gotten to know each other so well. I guess that's what happens when you live in close quarters with people. In college, or any time you don't have extra money, you get creative with gifts. Our suite is notorious for eating a lot of apples and peanut butter, so of course that was our gift to Hannah.
Today was also more than just her birthday. It was a night were we all got together. We hang out a lot as smaller groups, so it was nice to see the whole floor and some others all together. We have been able to create such a nice and fun environment in just a few short weeks. I think this is what college is about, finding people you feel comfortable hanging out with, truly good people you don't need to act around.
-Libby Morehouse
(Sorry for the short post.)

Day Four: Introspective Thoughts on Culture

Seven months ago I had the opportunity to travel with a group from my high school to Rwanda. We spent three weeks there, immersing ourselves in the culture and people. We learned about the tragic genocide, which occurred twenty short years ago, and how the country has started to recovery from it. We worked with a community of coffee growers as they tended the ground around he coffee plants. We went to schools and orphanages to talk with children of all age groups and education levels.  We collaborated with a community group bringing clean water to their village, and made media with them to share their stories. We even had the amazing opportunity to stay for five days with host families in a neighborhood in Kigali, the capital of Rwanda.
Over this time I learned a lot about the Rwandan culture. I learned how they sing and dance through the back-breaking labor in the coffee fields; I learned how much of a privilege it is to go to school, and to be able to learn English and French; I learned how important church and religion are to the people.  The most important thing I learned, however, was the power of forgiveness and the strength of a community.
Through government propaganda and the media throughout the 20th century, the Hutus (an ethnic majority in Rwanda) were told to fear the Tutsis (another ethnic group in Rwanda).  Hutus were told that they needed to seize power in the government from the Tutsis, and that even their Tutsi neighbors weren't safe to trust.  Small scale massacres of Tutsis occurred through the 20th century as the USA sat back and did nothing. The anger and fear towards Tutsis kept growing until an order was given from the Hutu government to kill Tutsis. As news trickled down, people took this order to be a law, because the English words for "order" and "law" translate to the same word in Kinyrwandan.  On April 7, 1994 the genocide began. Hutus mercilessly killed their Tutsi neighbors and any moderate Hutus.  At first they killed their neighbors and friends, but then the hunt started to happen. Tutsis sought refuge in the churches and schools, which had always been safe places, but the Hutus came to Murambi, Natarama and Nyamata and so many other schools and churches and committed mass murders.  The Tutsis fled into the forests, but were pursued and slaughtered there too. Many fled into the neighboring Congo, only to be met by trouble there too. This one-sided slaughter went on for three months, and an estimated 800,000 innocent Rwandan Tutsis were murdered.  This tragedy created a rift in the people. When Hutus were released from jail, the Tutsis didn't want them to return to the village. But as time passed, they rebuilt their communities.  The Hutus were able to regain some Tutsi trust through respect.  The Tutsis began to forgive the Hutus and try to live in peace. Twenty years later, they are still rebuilding those relationships, but they have come so far. Hutus and Tutsis can work together again, making their country a better place, and working together to fix issues in the community and in Rwanda. The resilient strength of the Rwandans is what has allowed their country to recover, and become stronger than it was before the conflict.
I learned so much in that three week time about Rwandans and their culture, but, through their eyes, I learned so much about myself and the American culture.  I learned how much we take for granted. Each morning we wake up and dread the fact that we have to go to school. We take for granted that it will always be there, and we feel like we are forced to sit and listen to someone telling us how little we know. The same is not true in Rwanda and many other developing nations. Education is not guaranteed, it's a privilege.  Every day the kids who get to go to school wake up excited; they walk to school with smiles on their face, and they are eager to get to learn anything they can.  Education isn't the only thing I have always taken for granted. Running water. Not just running water but hot water at the turn of a knob. In America, when I want to take a shower, I turn the nozzle, when I want to drink cold water, I turn on the faucet. It's easy and mindless.  A lot of Rwandans aren't that fortunate. They have to walk miles to get water, which they know is contaminated. Even if they are lucky to have a nice house with a solid roof over their head, they don't always have running water. In the house I stayed in during our home stays there was indoor plumbing, but that didn't always mean running water. The water collected in a basin outside of the house, and once that basin was empty the water wouldn't flow. That meant bucket showers, or no showers at all.
Being in Rwanda gave me a new perspective on how I live. Being wasteful had been an unfortunate part of the American culture. According to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, the USA threw out 250,890,000 pounds of garbage in 2012. Only one tenth of that amount was recycled.  The garbage production in Rwanda is much lower. The people try to use every last bit of what they have, and this includes food.  Americans through away excess food without giving it a second thought. This is one habit I have tried to change since returning. Most people in Rwanda don't get enough food to satisfy themselves and to get the right amount of nutrients, so needless to say they don't have any food scraps to through away. In America and other developed countries, we always have easy access to food, so we don't understand how important every morsel of food is. Nowadays it's much harder for me to throw out waste knowing that there are people who are dying because they can't fill their stomachs.  My perception of wealth has also dramatically changed. My family has never had a huge plethora of extra money, but we've always made a living without worrying too much. We are by no means rich according to American standards, but we could be off much worse. I have always been able to afford to clothe myself, to get a good education, and my parents don't have to do any tough physical labor. In Rwanda, there are too many people who rely on the generosity of others to give them clothing filled with holes so  their kids can wear a shirt, too many can't afford education, and there are so many people who have to work long hours in the fields to barely make any money.  It seemed very strange when multiple Rwandans told me they thought every American was rich, because our statistics don't show that, but compared to their standard of life and wealth, we are very privileged.
Six months later I still struggle to comprehend all of this. I'm trying to understand the American culture, which I thought I understood so well. I'm am still amazed by how a country so poor, disease-ridden and hungry could be so much richer in spirit and community than a country that can have anything at the drop of a hat. This experience taught me something more valuable than anything I've learned in a classroom. It has taught me to reevaluate my life and culture, and how to value things I have taken for granted.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Three: Climate

With the Climate March just passed, climate change and other environmental issues have been on people's minds and in their conversations.  The press that climate change has been receiving lately has increased, and I think it's for the good. In my honest opinion, I think that climate change is one of the most pressing issues we are dealing with. Unlike political, cultural, or religious conflicts, climate change effects every single person, animal, and plant in the globe. The issues of oil extraction and burning fossil fuels don't just impact the lives of the people taking part in those actions. The carbon dioxide doesn't just sit over them. It is everywhere in our atmosphere.
People have started to take notice and make a change. For a long time, the Amazon Rainforest has been a large site for oil extraction, but this has caused deforestation. It has changed the climate and the rain patterns there. The Amazon houses one third of the world's plant and animal species, and each day there are most species becoming endangered and extinct. This is all due to our thirst for oil, which is proving hard to quench.
Deforestation isn't just effecting the biodiversity of the Amazon Rainforest region; it is effecting the planet. One fifth of the fresh water in the world is housed there, and it is being contaminated each time we drill for oil. The Amazon is the largest carbon sink in the world, which means it is the single place on Earth which removes the most amount of carbon dioxide from our atmosphere. Deforestation will effect the carbon dioxide levels in two ways. One, there will be fewer trees and other vegetation to absorb the carbon dioxide and release clean oxygen. Two, the Amazon is being deforested for oil, which, when burned, will release more carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. It is estimated that half of the oil in the world must remain in the ground, permanently, in order to not reach an irreversible climate catastrophe. That means no more deforestation of the Amazon, or any other forest (did you know that the forests in the Siberian tundra have been deforested more than the Amazon?); that means no more drilling for oil Amazon and no more searching for new locations to drill. This means we must find clean, renewable sources of energy, and find ways to make them accessible to the common folk. This will help us restore the fragile ecosystems, preserve cultures in areas effects by oil drilling, and keep the planet's climate under control, improving our lives and the lives of future generations.
For all of this to happen, we need to band together and make our voices heard. We need to reach out to the large oil companies and show that we will not stand for this before. They no longer have our support to ruin the environment and kill of hundreds of species all for their profit. The oil drilling isn't helping the economy significantly where it is extracted, and it is definitely hurting their culture and ecosystem. I took action and signed the pledge at http://amazonwatch.org/ and I'm hoping you will do the same as well.
-Libby Morehouse

Day Two: College

College is supposed to be a great time in a young person's life. It's a time to get away from home, to go to a new place. It provides freedom from your parents and freedom from people's judgements of you. It's a time to reinvent yourself, either completely, or to change that one annoying little habit you have. College is a place where you are treated with respect from your professors, who view you as mature intellectuals, and from your peers.  That being said, there can be some stress with college.
Coming to college got me nervous. I was excited, yes, but there were nerves in the pit of my stomach. How will I make friends? How hard will classes be? Will I be able to keep up with my work? Will I have a job? The Freshmen 15?! Will I like my roommate? These were all things I worried about, and I know every other college kid does as well. I was stressing out about the most minute details, but I just needed to take a deep breath. It was out of my control and I needed to learn to enjoy that feeling, but also take responsibility for the things I needed to get done. Most of those nerves subsided once I got to college. I realized that the people here are amazing, interesting, and unique individuals. I started making friends with the people on my floor, and people I had classes with. I realized that this was reality, and it was something I could handle if I focused at the task at hand.
It's been exactly one month since I moved in to school at UVM, and I honestly have to say that it has been an amazing whirlwind. The people are so kind, everyone tries to help you, and there is a huge array of activities to do. I joined the swim club because I wanted to stay active, and I thought it would be a fun way to try something I never was able to do and make new friends at the same time.  Of course I'm here for the education, but learning goes beyond the classroom. Everyone here is coming from different backgrounds, and you can always learn something from others; that's one of the biggest lessons I have learned here. I have gained so much knowledge about people and other places in the USA and in the world just by sitting down and listening to people. I have kept an open mind through all of this and it has really shaped my time into what promises to be a great few years here.
Just like anything in life, however, college has its ups and downs.  Not everyone will have the perfect roommate. Unfortunately some people just don't live well together, personalities clash and that's an unfortunate reality in life. I've been experiencing this recently. If you feel any tension, talk to you roommate. Try to resolve things. It's not worth you or your roommate being miserable over a small issue, and it's easier to have a civil conversation than to have to pack up all of your stuff and move into another dorm. In college, people are there to help. If you are having trouble with anything, there are people who are more than willing to help, you just have to ask. People want to see you happy and they want to see  you succeed, so go out and find resources and resolve any issues you might have.
I know I don't have the answers to everything, but I do have knowledge from my life experiences. I hope this could be of help to anyone, relieve some stress, and ensure you that college will be amazing if you let it be, and work to make your life one you want to live.
-Libby Morehouse

Day One

So this is it. It's the first day of my blog. I've been wanting to do this for a long time; I've been musing it over in my mind, but I never knew what to write about. To be honest I still don't know what to write about. I'm just writing. I'm writing what comes to mind, a stream of consciousness if you will. Being at college, so many people I know have blogs so I thought it was about time I started this, my first true blog. I'm sure I'll do specific blog posts later, but for now, while I get the hang of this, I just want to blog about me, how my day was, what I'm thinking. But I want to write, and I want to write every day. I apologize in advance. I love to write, but I am not a writer. My style may not suite you, it may not suite me, and it's sure to evolve. I'm not humorous, although sometimes I think I am (just ask any of my friends). But this is me, my thoughts, my words, my blog. I think this will be a good way to clear my mind after a long day, to allow for a peaceful night's sleep. I think it'll be a good way to get my thoughts out there, the ones that matter and the ones that don't. It'll be a way to connect and a way to express life and art. This is all I can think of right now. I guess this will have to be a good enough introduction.
-Libby Morehouse